Growing Out Your Hair

Trying to get physically healthy is, I think, a little like growing out your hair.

It takes time.  Sometimes you're so frustrated, you mentally say fuck it and go tell your stylist to chop it back off. But before she even has the colour mixed, you realize how long you've been working on growing it back out, so you change your mind and tell her you just want a little trim.

But you have to shake things up, too. I mean, who wants to wear the same hair style all the freakin' time? (If you do, my apologies for assuming otherwise. I mean no offense.)  So you change the colour, and put in bright red streaks (at my next appointment 3 weeks from Saturday, I will be getting, yes, cherry red streaks) or blue or purple or whatever makes you happy.

I've been half-heartedly doing Weight Watchers for a couple of months. I've lost 10 pounds, a reasonably respectable amount, and I've definitely gotten smaller, as I'm back into some clothes that I optimistically had hanging in my closet. I've got a helluva long way to go, but that's cool. I told one of my co-workers at last week's meeting that I can't even think of my end goal right now. I have to just think about today. Now.

So we have a cafe at work, and they have good food, for the most part. By good I mean tasty, not necessarily the healthiest. Most days you can at least get a decent cup of soup. Some days they have an incredible salad toss, although for some reason they have no lowfat/reduced fat/nonfat salad dressings. (Note to self--take a little cup of salad dressing to work with me on the days they do the salad toss. N.B. if you like creamy, tangy dressings, I recommend the Bolthouse Farms yogurt dressings. Delicious, and only 1 WW point per tablespoon).  But take today--the entree was apricot chicken, which looked tasty but was probably full of sugar thanks to the jam glazing the chicken, served with rice (can't eat because of the lap band) and several different blends of veggies that looked like they were all soaked in butter and/or oil. The grill was a turkey burger with bacon, mushrooms, and Swiss cheese, an undeniably tasty concoction but not conducive to, well, figuratively growing out my hair. I didn't want hummus because I had it yesterday, and wasn't in the mood to eat it with pretzels (I like my hummus with veggies). So I ended up with a lackluster tuna sandwich, of which I ate half.

I have to digress for a moment, because one of the things we talked about in last week's WW meeting was emotions and how to handle them without eating. Invariably people talked about getting some exercise, or talking a walk, or even walking away from your desk. I was uber stressed today due to work stuff, and I got up and took a walk, all right. I walked all the way to the bathroom where I had a nice pee, and then I walked to the snack machine and bought a 3 Musketeers bar, and walked back to my desk and ate it.  I don't think that's quite the type of walk everyone had in mind, but it worked for me.  And it was a deliberate, conscious decision. I knew I could fit it into my day, and it wasn't a big deal.

Anyway, one of my hurdles when it comes to taking my lunches to work is time. I get out of bed at the latest possible moment that allows me time to go to the bathroom, brush my hair and teeth, put on deodorant, possibly slap on some makeup, get dressed, and get to the car in time to be at work as close to 6 a.m. as possible. (This won't last, but it's going to go on for at least another month, probably.)  That means if it's not ready for me to grab and go, I won't take it.  So today I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from work and got a nice assortment of fresh veggies and fruit, a box of 4 mini-packs of hummus, a box of 4 mini-packs of cubed roast turkey breast, and 4 bottles of this really disgustingly nasty tasting Braggs vinegar drinks that I like despite the fact that they taste disgustingly nasty--they're so nasty I think they must be good for me, and I do feel better after having drunk one, so there you go.  And I also got a little bit of pasta salad and edamame salad to have for tonight's dinner.  Joe obligingly portioned out the carrots, celery, broccoli, cauliflower, and bell pepper into baggies for me, and then he made me 4 more little baggies of cherries and grapes. I made 4 lunch bags (Wednesday through Saturday), each containing a little tub of hummus, a little tub of cubed roast turkey breast, a bag of veggies, a bag of fruit, a nasty disgusting Braggs vinegar drink, and a little wedge of Laughing Cow light cheese. And they're all in the refrigerator, so I just have to wander through the kitchen on my way through the house in the morning, and voila, my lunch is all ready to go.

It took comparatively little time to do this, just a little planning ahead more than anything. Joe was impressed that I'm actually doing this (not that it's new--I've periodically gone on healthy binges only to spectacularly fall off the wagon) and was nicely encouraging. And I do feel better when I eat better. F'r instance, yesterday I had a cup of pasta e fagiole soup, a cup of cantaloupe and honeydew melon for lunch, with the aforementioned hummus and pretzel thins for a snack, and felt MUCH better than I did today after eating half a tuna sandwich and some Fritos (oh, didn't I mention the Fritos?) with a 3 Musketeers bar as a stress chaser.

It's all good. Today I figuratively told the hairdresser to chop my damn hair off short, and then changed my mind before she did it. Changed my routine a wee bit, and hope it takes.